Adaptation + Anti-Kindness

I seem to be blogging day by day now, but so what I need a hobby.

Decided to write about two themes today, the first being Adaptation.  After the mess that was Competition A (deadline now missed) I decided to set myself a new goal, which is a different competition, its deadline is in November.  So basically with a reshuffle, these are the new literary goals:

Competition A- Short Story (September)
Competition B- Short Story (November)
Competition C- Short Story (February)
Competition D- Articles (April)
Competition E- Short Story (April)
Competition F- Short Story (June)
Competition G- Short Story (August)

As far as writing goes, I'm not really writing.  I am thinking though, of plots, and it feels like everything has been done really.  When I think of a character and her conflict it's just a loud sigh from me, because it's been written already...Feels like I'm regurgitating old stories now.  What the hell do people want to read?

Maybe I should just write what I want to read.  One author, I think Philip Pullman but don't quote me, said to be completely arrogant, and ignore what anyone tells you, and write what you want.

If I really wrote what I think of...well it wouldn't be pretty, it'd be ugly and violent.  Mmmh.  

Onto the kindness theme.  I'm noticing that some elements of my life I fail at because I depend on the idea that there is kindness in the world.  There isn't, or at least there isn't when it comes to me.  So basically, every opportunity that is presented to me, if it is ever reliant on someone else's kindness, I should either forget about it, or find a way to avoid being in their power. 

But ultimately, aren't we all under someone's power?  

Which means every job interview, every story submission, every opportunity where my underlying message is please help me, I should generally forget about, and find a way to surpass it.  Maybe this is where bribes come into life?  I am fed up of being at other people's mercy, there must be a way to avoid this situation.

I'm trying to put into motion the notion of Anti Kindness.  Any time I become complacent, and think that an application will be enough I need to remember the Anti Kindness and work harder to get what I want.  

I'm tired of playing by the rules.