Monday, August 30, 2010

Boxes and Doubt

I'm being rushed off of my feet, and I really don't like it.  I've spent a meandering summer full of resolutions and personal promises, and now its time to do the work.

Trying to pack up now, but it's constantly interrupted with accommodation problems, looking for work, and then all this registration, freshers gumf being hurled my way.  On top of that, I know I have to write; running out of time.  Also need to practice drawing, and it's like I'm scared to face the blank paper, because it's that knowing void of so what are you going to do, that makes me the walking contradiction all over again. 

I'm full of doubt. 

I can't work.  Had too many people speak down to me.  It's because I was censored when I met them, so they don't think much of me.  They think they are smarter, or more privileged.  At the end of the day, they might have more money in the bank, but I know I have the real thing.  The mind to get somewhere on my own.  So many people think so little of me, and it saddens me.

But hey, that's what revenge is for.  

I said I was going to do something, and I plan on doing it.  And even when it doesn't work out, I keep at it.  Always will.  Until I finally burn out, or become an icon.  You know, whatever. 

I have a lot of research and reading to do.  I need to discover how to be totally on point again.  Being on point usually requires a lot of money, or extreme sacrifice, remember that.  Nothing is for free.  So either someone pays my way in life, or I get back on my grind.   

Will be back with more progress hopefully.  Need to finish packing, and buying stuff.  Haven't finished my make over yet, still look rough.  Some things are going to be very last minute.  Good times.

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