Monday, August 23, 2010

Uncensored


When I was a kid, people would either say to me, you're so polite. Or damn you're rude. It was always one or the other, and I was vaguely aware of this.

I don't think I'm rude, I think I say what people try to tiptoe around. People are insulted by the truth, and I'm labelled rude. So I stopped telling people what I really thought, they called me polite. Eventually, when they knew a problem was so obvious, and wanted to know why I wasn't speaking on it, they called me fake or conceited...Interesting.

I see this as society censoring me.  My comments became censored, and eventually this manifested itself into my way of living.  It affected the way I dressed, the way I did my hair, where I went, what I said, and eventually how I wrote, because someone always had something to say about me. This has lasted for about two years, allowing myself to be censored.

Nothing gets done, when you're lying to yourself.  I can't stand pretentious work or people, I can't stand liars, and I definitely can't stand people restricting me.  Plus I will never become the things I can't stand, which means they must all be eradicated.

So onto writing.  Sometimes when I write, I start thinking about what the reader wants, what they want to read.  And I start writing for them instead of for myself.  If you write a story, that you personally don't agree with, or find irritating, is it really your story, or something you've written whilst pre-empting an imaginary reader's reaction?  

 
I've decided to stop doing that.  If my character has to die, they're going to have to die.  If my protagonist doesn't possess the cliched flaws and abilities that most would expect, tough.  I'm going to write what I want to write, how I want to write it. 

It's time to write unchained.  Uncensored.
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