Not Ready

I'm not ready to go but I have to.

I have a day to finish packing, my room is a complete mess, just gonna bin things and get out...I'm exhausted, sick and tired of packing, sick and tired of sitting here alone.  I don't know if I'm strong enough for anything else anymore.

Don't know if I'm strong enough to do what it takes to be...that girl.  Think I need a mentor...or a class.  Need something or someone to stop me from falling apart during these trials.  Everyone has someone...well, mostly everyone.  I am a rare exception.  Being single seems to have gone out of fashion, and I remain flaunting this rarity of an extinct trend.  Picking up the pieces is one thing, doing it alone usually is torture.

I actually can't be arsed.  Age does things to people, and I am tired. 

I consider forgoing university, getting a full time job, tiny flat, and just get on with it.  Forget dreams, or ambitions.  Write it off. 

Mmm.  Chewed up and spat out.