Thursday, June 30, 2011

Stop Living In Regret, Baby It's Not Over Yet

Beyonce has a song on her newest album '4' that I can't deny, just speaks to me.  'Schoolin Life' has a strong 80s influence, that makes me yearn for the past, whilst tentatively hoping for the future.

I don't know.  When I was growing up I had the idea that if you wanted something, and you did the necessary to get it, you would have it.  That doesn't seem to be the case now.  Bad girls get the good guys, incompetent people get the decent jobs via connections, and truth as well as justice in our world remains elusive.

I guess I've spent too much time contemplating my past, and the things that I wish I could change (but can't) that I now struggle to clearly see my future, or what I really want from it.   

But anyway, I have started making changes.  Recently I've been trying to draw myself out of my heavy-going-nowhere novel, and decided to try my hand at a few short stories.  However, I've found it difficult to remember everything that I used to know to create a good story such as strong characters, fast pace, dialogue, imagery, senses etc.  I sat staring at my blank word document and  remembered one of my favourite English teachers reiterating the notion that 

"If You Don't Read, You Can't Write."

With my laptop's steadily deteriorating capabilities in functioning, my continued unemployment and now justified boredom, I've reverted to reading intensely.  I brought a few books from home back with me and started with one of my favourite books: Sabriel, by Garth Nix which is a dark fantasy novel about a girl who possesses the ability to put the dead to rest.  I'm currently half way through Stephen King's Skeleton Crew, a collection of horror stories, and so far I'm loving it.  I'm loving feeling my own imagination come to life, rather than being force fed via videos and TV.

Think the next books I'm going to go for are a few classics, and I just bought Homer's Odyssey.  Might also reread the complete Chronicles of Narnia by Lewis, if there is time during my studies.  I'm going to throw myself into creativity this summer, by studying, reading and writing.  It feels like for the past few years all that I've been doing is faffing about.  But now it seems that playtime is officially over.

It feels like it's time to be someone.

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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Unfortunately

Unfortunately
I didn't pass all of my modules. *sigh* I thought I'd be really upset, or angry with myself, but mostly just feel resigned.  Story o...
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Thursday, June 16, 2011

You Can't Go Back

You Can't Go Back
So I went back home.  The journey was stressful and I was in a foul mood way before I got off the train.  By the time I trundled up the gar...
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