Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Hello June

It's June already?

I finished uni for the year last week, and since then have only partied and slept.  

I have lists coming out of everywhere, with the key heading: sort out your life before September. Have no idea how I'm going to do it as I still, yes still don't have a job.  What is this?!  I've had tonnes of interviews and still no luck.  I think when I go in they can see the tiredness behind my eyes, see through my mock enthusiasm and think, oh no not you.  So here's a new life lesson: learn to lie.  Learn to lie well.

I am just too lazy right now.  I wake up at 3 in the afternoon.  Yes 3.00 pm.  I browse the web and watch cartoons all day and call it work.  Thank goodness this has only lasted a week, it needs to be stopped immediately.  

September of this year seems ages away, but it's like the golden target.  It's the chance for me to continue uni as a success.  And genuinely enjoy the experience.  This year was ok, but it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done, because it required consistent effort.  I need to start next academic year without having a breakdown.  I need to be able to live my life without having a breakdown.

I currently do not like the way that I spend my time, or the way that I live my life.  I noticed that by going out and partying with my friends I was actually living, rather than writing or pondering about living.  There is a real difference. 

I miss dancing immensely, I miss the discipline, and I've made up my mind, I'm going to start again, hopefully in August.  I also want to write properly again, and definitely want to take a Creative Writing Course.  I want to join the gym, and meet like minded outgoing girls like myself.  And gosh I want to get driving again.  I want to have these activities as a key focus of my life, and I want uni to be what I do, not who I am. 

I want to be the happy, successful version of me.  And I have 4 months to get there.
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4 comments

  1. I remember being in the same boat when i stopped attending school. I got so tired of not getting hired that I started my own business. Sometimes when we need money, we need to use what we got to get what we want. You should start a dance class! It would take your love for dance and allow you to make some extra cash! Good luck :)

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  2. Oh gosh I wish I could start a class, but I'm still 2 grades away from being qualified to teach ballet! That's why I need to go back to tutoring, which = money. As usual lol X

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  3. I'm sure you will make it. Just keep on working.

    Love
    /S / http:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com

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  4. @S
    I've got to try! This can be the summer of dreams :)

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