I've got to be quick with this post. It's 1:40 in the morning and I'm awake because 1) I'm exhausted, and 2) I need to get some stuff off my chest before I can sleep. If I don't vent before I sleep I will probably have angry nightmares and wake up in a bad mood.
I spent the day with my friends from uni today, and I finished the day in such an awful rage filled with shame that I thought I would vomit once I made it home.
I have 2 categories of friends. I have friends that try to use me. I have friends that feed off of me. The friends that drove me bananas today feed off of me like I'm a platter at an All You Can Eat Diner.
The worse thing about these parasitic friends is that it takes ages to realize that you're feeding them. My style and my clothes feed them. My work feeds them. My attitude feeds them. If I buy something, they are asking where I bought it, how much, and if there are any left. In fact one of my friends asked me where I bought something so that they could buy it, and they hadn't even seen it. If I wear an outfit that I've slung together, they are wearing their duplicated version the following day. If I get a job...ha, luckily I haven't been stupid enough to tell them where I'm working or strike a light! there they'd be next Tuesday at a staff meeting! Hair extensions, make up, info on uni, on getting anywhere in life- everything...
They infuriate me because as you act as fuel towards these people, they feed off of you in a subconscious manner, so that they actually think that what they are copying from you...is all them. You'll hear them talking about acomplishments that wouldn't have occured if not for your input, without a mention or a nod in your direction. They made these subtle little comments that made my own accomplishments feel insignificant, and had me burning in a rage so severe I considered phoning up my current job and quitting, and starting all over again.
All of this from interaction with leeches.
Today was the first time I felt that way. Ashamed of what I had achieved this summer, and doubting my own choices, plans and decisions. What I did, I got on my own, with only mine and my family's faith in me acting as a guiding force. There was no, where are you going, where did you get, can I borrow, can I have, do you have any left... when I was struggling like a damn fool. All of these pleas that only really mean: Let me have...whatever you have. Let your advantages...be my advantages. If I made them this summer, let me assure you, the cries fell on deaf ears.
I've already made changes from last academic year, and I promised myself that I would not come out at the end of this year feeling like a chump. I'm keeping all of my cards very close to my chest this time around. I feel strong enough to pave the way for myself. I don't have the strength to carry anyone else along with me.
So to my leeching friends, please...Get off the tit and get your own shit.
I know exactly what you mean about "leeching" friends. A few years ago, I hung out with a girl who applied for the same internship as I did, then made it seem as if she had come up with the idea on her own! I was so angry about her copying what I did, and it got to the point where I never wanted to tell her what I was doing because I knew she would do it too. But in my opinion, if I can't tell my friend what I'm doing, we're not really friends.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, we're no longer friends. :)
lol tell me about it, the worse thing is you only realize what they're doing once they've copied you. I will be giving my leeching friends a bit of a break this year. There must be people out there who have the strength and inner conviction to be an individual whilst being my friend :) X
ReplyDeleteI would say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but they aren't imitating you anymore, they're straight up copying and trying to be you with the false impression of it being them. I think you already know what to do in this situation and that is to start peeling those leeches off you. You shouldn't have to keep your accomplishments a secret so that they don't try to do it for themselves - you should be happy to share it with a friend and if you can't trust them, they aren't really a friend.
ReplyDeleteLike I always say - if they aren't adding something to your life then why are they in it?
Very true. Although, as we attend university with each other, I think that it's less productive to cut people out of my life; the route to success doesn't always involve doing it alone. Think I'll write a post on Friends and Acquaintances soon :D X
ReplyDeleteFeatured you !!
ReplyDelete@Kimberly Michelle, Heya hun, I just noticed lol thanks so much!! :) xXx
ReplyDelete