I Need Some Me Time

I've been slacking recently.  I think it's because all of my thoughts are coming head to head with my actions.  When I started this blog, my life was on standby.  I didn't do the things I wanted to do, or act out my dreams.  But when you plan and plan, you can only start to do what you plan, and thought and action are two very different acts.

I started dating again recently, and I feel as if my Island of Isolation, which had steadily become a permanent residence, has been rocked into the bizarre reality of Real Life.  Real Life sucks.  I don't know how many people allow themselves the luxury of living alone, (and I don't mean being single) I mean being alone for some much needed Me Time.  I think I've had Me Time all my life.  In fact the occasions when I most screwed up my life were due to hasty interruptions of Me Time due to We Time. 

For instance I know that I need time alone.  I need to be able to think about what I plan on achieving that day, that week, that month, whilst never losing sight of what I need to get done in the next 5 years, or even the next 10 years.  I need to get on with my day. I need peace.  My own steps, my own choices.  I need my own voice. 

Maybe that's some of the magic in being alone.  If you ever wonder, how strong you are, try being alone.  You'll realize and see who you are truly, whilst being in your own company.  So many people are scared of confronting themselves.  I had a war with myself, and I won.  I came out complete.  When I was younger I believed the poor message that I would forever be incomplete, until I found a man to complete me. The worrying thought is, if you truly believe that you are incomplete, how do you know you've found the right Missing piece?  I think you can only ever find the perfect addition.  Never a completion.  If you need one, feck knows how you accomplished anything before, or probably afterwards either.

Spending time with a few possible 'additions' this week, I've realized that I'm not who I thought I was.  I'm a lot tougher.  I don't have too much fear now.  And I feel free, with me.  I'm sure there's a perfect addition out there.  But they may have to wait.  I seem to be too busy.  Busy trying to live for me.