Tuesday, January 17, 2012

And Time was Water, Constant and Fleeting

I'm running out of time.
I wanted to post earlier, but then something would come up.  Life is changing, quite seriously even, and I can't afford to miss strategic moves to a better existence.  

I'm in the middle of crisis, and it seems that if I keep my head down, I'll be in the clear by May.  Five months.  Of toil, deadlock at uni, and probably zero London.

My Christmas holidays were spent working severe overtime in order to pay back some equally severe debts.  One of my resolution goals remember, pay off all debt.  This extreme overtime led me to the conclusion that I would love to quit my job, sometime soon.  However, due to financial commitments I'm not sure when I will be able to break free.

I went back to London for three days.  Three measily days!  It was like coming up for air, and I realized that I'm starting to change as a person.  When I'm at university I feel ripped out, and like I should be somewhere else.  As soon as I return to London, I feel myself and calm.  I feel like I belong.  Not so much here.  In fact, deep down in the depths somewhere I really hate university. 

I've started writing again.  With an added sense of urgency, I might add.  As one of my new year's resolutions was to read a novel a month, I read Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  I read it in 2 days, and I will post a review of it at the end of the month.  The author wrote the three manuscripts and submitted them to his publisher, before dying shortly afterwards.  That story haunts me. 

Running out of time.  Have I been wasting time, or just living?  Have my experiences been worthwhile, or merely existence?  Is this the year- are these next few months the crucial moments?  I don't know. 

But something feels different.  I feel that same desperate surge of urgency as I try to sleep each night.  As I make small choices that will lead to one large choice in about five months time. 

I have to go.



  1. i'm not quite sure whats going down in 5 months but I wish you ALL the best! Write when you can! *smile*

  2. @Mz E hi thanks for dropping by, in 5 months time my academic year will be finished although I hope that I make it there in 1 piece :) X

  3. you will always make the right choices (:

  4. thanks for following ♥ i found a lot of me in your "about me" section. freaky, but i think it could be quite possible that you're the woman after my own heart.


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