Hello May

Halfway through the month, and I'm saying hello?  

May has been tough, like every month this year.  The word of the month is: compromise.

Sometimes I have this vision of how I want things to be, how I want life to be.  And then reality shows me what it has in store for me and it's usually completely different.  It's usually crap.

I struggle terribly with my course, I have no time to write, I hate my job, and can't get rid of my debt.  Apart from more bills and less friends, my life is no different from when I was 17.  Actually, I'm way poorer and can't pick up new jobs the way I used to back in the day.  My life is at a standstill and I've just realised that there's probably no way I'll be able to afford a car by the end of summer.

So now what?

I don't think I can wait for things to get better.  I don't think I can wait any longer.  Every day at my demeaning job, every day of sub par grades at uni, every day of walking and carrying and dragging, and trying for no real result makes me want to give up.  

I can't give up.

There's nowhere left to go.

2012 has to be my year.  Otherwise there won't be any of me left.