Tuesday, March 19, 2013

And then we shift

I entered a writing competition last night.  The Mslexia Short Story Competition.  *gasp I actually shared something...*

It's a reworked entry of a story I wrote before.  It was originally called Kalamata Olives and I entered it for the Jeremy Mogford Prize, but it was unsuccessful.  Originally it was a bit rushed, so I went over it minutes before the deadline before submitting.  I don't know.

I don't like talking about my writing so much.  Everyone in my Creative Writing Class likes to talk and discuss and share, but I just feel cautious.  I'm not blowing my own horn I don't think I'm some amazing writer who is above feedback, criticism and discussion.  I just feel like writing is the purest form of art other than dancing to me, and sometimes all this discussion acts as a type of corruption.  Maybe corruption is a strong word.  Maybe a haze.   A haze and I can't see truth anymore.  

Sometimes our weekly tasks are just to write anything for an exercise.  I used to be able to do this.  But now...there is a shift.  I don't like this.  I don't like this exercise at all.  It is described as a form of practice, building one's understanding of technique.  I see it as procrastination.  I feel like I've been procrastinating my entire life.  

My friends have bought cars, houses, and are engaged.  I am knocking on 25 and I'm a broke student.  I then go to these writing classes once a week, in the middle of the night, exhausted and am told to write an exercise about 'escaping.'  I could submit a diary entry, it would be the same shit that I write every day.  

I got 55/100 for my last assignment.  Poor.  I have missed a few classes too.  My interest is fading.  I don't know what's happening.  

I am tired of thinking and dreaming.  I want to do and live.  And want no restrictions.

I can't believe that I'm considering dropping out of my writing class.  After I desired and wished for it so much.  Now, I don't know if I need it.  

Or maybe I just need a holiday.  

Anyways onwards.  I know I don't update this blog as frequently as I should.  I'm in the middle of the storm at 'Real University', I have a dissertation, 3 reports, 1 portfolio and 2 exams due all before May 9th.  So before that date, God knows how frequent updating will be.  

I will quickly say that I want to enter another writing competition, and am considering writing a play... But that's about all I can say at this time.  There's too much going on and I don't want the haze to come over me.  



  1. I was glad to see this update... Always did love your posts. I would urge you to "come back soon" but there's no telling how often I'd read. It seems like blogging is a thing of the past for me. I feel your pain. I, too, am 25 and not where I'd like to be financially. We'll get there, don't worry. Best wishes in the writing competition!


    P.S. Don't quit the writing class...

  2. Hi Alexandria, sorry for late response, I just don't keep up with my blog as well I used to. I understand what you mean about not reading often, I keep neglecting, and don't read subscriptions as often as I used to. Hopefully we will both reach our goals soon. I will try not to quit the writing class. X


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