Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Someone Up There Hates Me

Still can't get right.

When it comes to assignments for 'real uni' I just can't get my shit together.

Despite changing course, and doing my very best to do well...I can see I have still failed myself.  

And like some never ending nightmare, nothing is ever finished, or complete, or a proper representation of what I feel I can do.  What I told my lecturers, family and friends I would do.  I've been at this uni for 4 years this summer, and all I thought to myself last night as I worked in the uni library till 6am, is why is this always my summer?

I try my best to be positive and all of that.  But today I slept through a job interview, woke up to a power cut, and with only 4 hours to get my coursework submitted.  But I had to ditch work to do so.

I've never felt lower and things have never seemed so dismal.

It doesn't matter where I live, what I do, what I change.

I still seem to be that same failure.  And someone up there still seems to hate me.  

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