Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Keep Up

I lost one of my jobs on Tuesday. 

I hated it.  I had almost quit it twice.  Tuesday I lost it.

I should be writing.  I'm almost at the end of my hellish two week saga, and I'm not...stopping.

My mind is mash.  Imagine being sacked, and twenty minutes later having to go to your other job, and act like nothing has happened.  Did I cry?  No.  I'm hollowed out.  They let me go because I had to focus on my uni work.  I took 2 weeks off work.  Tough times.  

I'll write about it, then I can move forward again.  I should be writing my manuscript; I have a 5000 word deadline due for next week.  

I'm all overcome with odd thoughts.  Overloaded with Me Questions, and no answers.  Can't focus.

*I can.  they can't beat me.  no one can.*

Sweet Jesus, where is this story going?

My flat is a tip.  I only manage to look presentable, not like me but that doesn't matter right now.  I have to make it to 1:30pm this Friday and then maybe, just maybe I can finally get my shit together in time for February, and my return to the MA in Creative Writing.  God knows how I'll pay that now.  

*manic laughter.  the joys of this quasi-destructive life.*

Had my first driving lesson in almost 5 years today.  Can't believe I'm doing it.  Can't believe I might actually move forward.  

I still feel like I need to hurry up.  Hurry up and sort out some financial miracles, or I will sink.  And just when I thought I was surviving.  Treading water.  

Stones in my pocket.  

*ditch the stones.  hurry.*

We are entering a new era.  I have to keep up.  Keep up, and hurry up. 

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