Monday, March 30, 2015

Weeks like these

Not so sure about this week.

Feels like there is so much at stake, and I cannot juggle, cannot pull off anymore miracles.

I have a job interview today, as well as the ceremony for my Creative Writing Diploma.  

I desperately need another job.  I also need plenty of sleep. 

But God, the pressure.  

I also have two huge deadlines due for this Thursday.  I'm running out of days and time to do all of it. I don't know if I can do any of it.  I'm starting to feel sick all over again.  Why, why, why does this happen?  

I had a job interview in the middle of the month and I was unsuccessful, and something in me thinks this will be the case for this interview also.  Some of these job interviews, I swear I get invited to fill a time slot, never that I was actually in the running for a job.  

And then there's that helpless feeling of why do I bother, just to fail.  And then there's a feeling that's far worse, knowing that if I don't bother I've failed before I've started. 

All I want, all I need is a break.  I am exhausted on top of exhausted.  I'm tired when I wake up.  I'm tired when I sit down.

Weeks like these weaken me.

Sleepy Time ...

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