Thursday, April 21, 2016

Harder than it looks

So, this is why people don't study anymore!

I did not think this through.  It's mega hard.  Really hard.

My masters degree in creative writing is still proving to be a real obstacle.  However, I seem to have overcome my writers block.  I have done this by breaking up prose that I'm working on into separate word documents, reading short stories, small chapters of different genre books one after the other, listening to music, and also connecting my laptop to a larger screen.  Don't ask why this changes things.

It's been difficult.  In fact it has been heartbreaking.  The one thing you believed you would be able to do for the rest of your life.  And, instead you have blank word documents and no words on the page. This is your future.  And it's blank.

I can't give up now.  Even if I don't meet my deadlines, there's no overcoming this hurdle.  Because it's not a hurdle, it's an exchange.  And the only thing I can exchange, is coursework.  Prose, reports, portfolios and essays.

That's all I can do.

It's hard though.  Harder than I thought it would be.  This has been such a long struggle, longer than I planned when I started recording this sojourn of mine.  Six years, and I'm not sure what I have to show for it.  Not even sure if what I will have, will be worth all those years of struggle.  All those years.

All that struggle.

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